Men, Women, and Success...5 years later

I started this blog five years ago with a post about gender roles and what I thought were my "unconventional" views on them.  Looking back at it now, it makes me cringe.  Not because I disagree with everything I said in that post, but because I was making the argument that part of the reason that women don't have as many high-powered jobs as men is because women tend to prioritize their personal lives (friends, family, doing things they enjoy) more highly than men do.  I argued that men are more likely to want power and wealth, and so it's okay if there are never quite as many women in positions of power as men.  Five years later, having learned quite a bit more about the world and about the history of feminism, I feel appalled that I wrote this because it so closely resembles the arguments that anti-feminists have made for centuries.  The New York Times recently quoted an article that they published in 1882: 

“‘Literal people may ask, Why, then, does not woman have the right of suffrage?’ it stated. ‘The answer is easy. She does not want it. Of course, it must be admitted that women, or some women, think they want the ballot. But they do not really want it.’”

The Rise and Fall of Japan's Reigning Empresses

Female Tennō

*Note: Before you begin reading this, I must explain one term: tennō.  This is the Japanese title for the reigning monarch.  It's particularly significant when talking about Japanese empresses, since there have been many empresses (wives of the emperor) throughout Japanese history, but only six female tennō.  Strikingly, all six of them ruled during the Asuka-Nara period between 592 and 770.  Why did women rule so frequently during such a short time, and never again afterwards?  None of the articles or books that we read in my history class ever explained this phenomenon, so for my first paper topic I researched female tennō.  I learned a lot of fascinating things about them, and I think I even found a real answer to my question.  Here are the results!

from The Atlantic - Why Men Can't Take Compliments

An interesting article about the different gender expectations for and reactions to compliments. 

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/12/why-men-cant-take-compliments/282164/

From my personal experience, I have found it to be true that it's more socially acceptable for a guy to give personal compliments to woman, rather than the other way around.  If a woman compliments or shows too much interest in a guy, it's more likely to be mocked and perceived as the woman "throwing herself" at him.  In general, I think women are expected to be more subtle when it comes to showing romantic interest in someone. 

What are other people's experiences with this?  Do you especially agree/disagree with anything the article said? 

The Problem With "Having It All"

I have always strongly disliked the question, "Can women have it all?"  It's a ridiculous question because nobody can have it all: the high-powered career, enough time with your kids, enough time with your spouse, enough time with friends, enough time for yourself.  Men certainly don't have it all; they're just more likely to choose to spend more time on their careers and less on their families and social lives.  But somehow, it seems like women these days are raised to believe that they not only can, but should "have it all." 

Finally!  Someone is responding to this unrealistic and unfair expectation.  I saw this Debora L. Spar interview the other day, and I wanted to throw my hands in the air and yell "Hallelujah!"  She's the author of a new book called Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection.  Here's the interview (it's only 6 minutes):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyu3K305nRs

Women in Game of Thrones

It always kind of disturbed me how the women are treated in Game of Thrones.  As objects really.  As sex toys.  In the show there are countless gratuitous scenes with prostitutes, naked women, and degrading remarks about women.  On the surface, it seems like Game of Thrones is pretty grossly sexist. 

But let's take a step back.  Game of Thrones takes place in a setting that very closely resembles Medieval Europe.  The way women are treated in the show is probably a pretty accurate portrayal of the lives of Medieval women in general.  After all, in those times, women were essentially property, just as they are in Game of Thrones.   Saying that Game of Thrones is sexist is kind of like saying that 12 Years a Slave is racist.  It completely misses the point.

Not that Game of Thrones is expressly trying to spread awareness of the abuse of women or anything like that.  It is still, primarily, just a great fantasy adventure story.  But when it really comes down to it, what saves Game of Thrones from being sexist is that fact that every prominent female character in the story is strong, intelligent, and has such a depth of character that you can't help but empathize with her.

Even a character like Cersei, who I think we all can agree, is a Grade A Bitch, has moments where you really feel sorry for her, and she definitely has reasons for being the way she is.  The scene where the women are hiding in the Red Keep during the Battle of Blackwater and her conversation with Tyrion in the final episode of season three do a great deal to humanize her.  You'd have to be cold as stone not to pity her when she talks about her son Joffrey.  So sad. 

What I really love about the women in Game of Thrones, however, is the fact that they are all strong, and yet all so different.   When I was an adolescent, I read a great deal of fantasy novels, and after a while, it really annoyed me that the only women who were portrayed as "strong" were the ones who completely rejected their traditional feminine roles.  They were the tomboys, the sword-wielding women who dressed in men's clothes and took on a man's role.  When I read Game of Thrones in high school, I was overjoyed to discover Catelyn Stark--a noblewoman who remained completely within the bounds of her traditional gender role, and yet whom no one could deny had nerves of steel, was smart, brave, and fiercely loyal.  How could anyone not respect Lady Stark?  She was the ultimate strong, feminine, dutiful woman.  A true noblelady. 

Catelyn Stark was the one who struck me the most in high school, but after watching the show, I am reminded of how the strong female characters in Game of Thrones really fill the spectrum of possibilities.

Men, Women, and Success

I think that there will always be more men than women in prominent positions of power.  I think there will always be more male CEO’s, more male leaders at the head of government, and more men in the really big-buck salary positions. 

I am not saying this because I believe that opportunities for men and women will always be unequal.  I am not saying this because I believe that women will always be the victims of discrimination.  I am certainly not saying this because I believe that women are inferior.  I am saying this because I believe that men and women are inherently different—specifically, that men and women tend to prioritize their lives differently.