PROLOGUE
For some months, my sister and I had been planning to embark on a 5-week, 4,000-mile road trip along the west coast of the United States and Canada. Due to money restraints (and because we wanted this to be a Real American Road Trip) we decided to be reasonably ridiculous and drive the entire way. So, on July 6th, 2014, in a beat-up Toyota Corolla named Wong Foo with 150,000 miles on it, we set out from home at the crack of dawn. The first day of our trip was not terribly exciting because it involved a 15-hour stint from from Chicago to Denver, CO. On the second day, however, we came to the deserts of eastern Utah, which have some of the most beautiful landscapes I've ever seen.
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| You can just barely see me standing on top! |
DESTINATION #1
When Liz and I first arrived in Vegas, it was late at night and the city was spread out before us, lit up like a circuit board. One of the first things we saw as we drove in were three billboards: one for diamonds, one for plastic surgery, and one for a divorce & custody lawyer. Vegas mores in a nutshell.
I think my sister summed it up best when she said that the entire point of Vegas is to take everything wrong with America, super-size it, glitz it up, and display it proudly. Example: the Heart Attack Grill, a restaurant that advertises having the fattiest foods in the world. (People over 350 lbs eat free!)
We also found these little gems:
Though, by far, the best part of our time in Vegas was seeing the Cirque du Soleil show Zumanity. Photo-taking wasn't allowed, so I'm borrowing some pics from ze internets.
Of course, the pictures don't even do it justice. It was probably the most amazing show I've ever seen, and it was perfect for Vegas--burlesque, drag queens, dancing, strip-tease, acrobatics, comedy, awesome music.... I was so completely blown away by the things a human body can do. The two girls doing their acrobatic routine in the giant water bowl was probably my favorite part.
Afterwards we roamed the streets of downtown Vegas, looking at all the shinies, pimps, hobos, druggies, and scantily clad women. Downtown Vegas also sports a fake Statue of Liberty, a fake Eiffel Tower, and fake Arc de Triomphe! It's amazing how this city manages to steal from everywhere while still being so utterly and singularly Itself.
We ended up at a bar in the Cosmopolitan Hotel called The Chandelier.
After that we wandered some more and ended up at a restaurant called the Sugar Factory, which as you can probably guess, serves up some of the most gargantuan, Diabetes Award-winning desserts that you can imagine, including a $50 sundae which looks like this:
We sat outside on the patio and watched the late night Vegas parade of passersby, along with the same couple of billboard trucks that circled round and round the loop ("Hot Babes - Direct to YOU!"). I opted for a burger with fries, but my sister took advantage of their sugar menu and ordered a Lollipop Cocktail, which came in a goblet the size of her head. For some strange reason I did not take a picture of this, so here's a pic of that guy from the Black Eyed Peas drinking the same thing.
We got home at about 5 in the morning.
For a couple of shy introverts, I'd have to say that we did justice to our night out in Vegas, and we had a great time. I wouldn't want to stay there for too long, but I think everyone should see the Sin City at least once. Even if you're not looking for a Fear & Loathing kind of adventure, it can be quite an experience just hanging out at a bar or walking down the street. Vegas is the greatest human zoo on earth--a heaven for sensualists and writers, a gallery for a part of human nature which isn't displayed quite so brazenly anywhere else. Love it or hate it, it's certainly too interesting not to take a look.
The street names are also entertaining, ranging from the blatantly consumerist (Tropicana Dr.) to the (ir?)reverently ludicrous (Elvis Alive Dr.). Liz and I were couchsurfing while we were there and we noticed that the streets in our neighborhood seemed to have a theme. See if you can guess....
Yes, indeed! Whoever named the streets around there was definitely a fan of Indiana Jones.
I think my sister summed it up best when she said that the entire point of Vegas is to take everything wrong with America, super-size it, glitz it up, and display it proudly. Example: the Heart Attack Grill, a restaurant that advertises having the fattiest foods in the world. (People over 350 lbs eat free!)
We also found these little gems:
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| A photo booth where you can have your face inserted into various kinky and ridiculous magazine covers. |
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| Apparently you can get high off oxygen? |
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| Beef, Booze, & Broads |
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| How could I pass up getting my picture taken with some lovely Vegas showgirls? |
Afterwards we roamed the streets of downtown Vegas, looking at all the shinies, pimps, hobos, druggies, and scantily clad women. Downtown Vegas also sports a fake Statue of Liberty, a fake Eiffel Tower, and fake Arc de Triomphe! It's amazing how this city manages to steal from everywhere while still being so utterly and singularly Itself.
We ended up at a bar in the Cosmopolitan Hotel called The Chandelier.
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| My lovely sister. ^_^ |
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| They also happened to have Liberace's old car downstairs. |
We sat outside on the patio and watched the late night Vegas parade of passersby, along with the same couple of billboard trucks that circled round and round the loop ("Hot Babes - Direct to YOU!"). I opted for a burger with fries, but my sister took advantage of their sugar menu and ordered a Lollipop Cocktail, which came in a goblet the size of her head. For some strange reason I did not take a picture of this, so here's a pic of that guy from the Black Eyed Peas drinking the same thing.
We got home at about 5 in the morning.
For a couple of shy introverts, I'd have to say that we did justice to our night out in Vegas, and we had a great time. I wouldn't want to stay there for too long, but I think everyone should see the Sin City at least once. Even if you're not looking for a Fear & Loathing kind of adventure, it can be quite an experience just hanging out at a bar or walking down the street. Vegas is the greatest human zoo on earth--a heaven for sensualists and writers, a gallery for a part of human nature which isn't displayed quite so brazenly anywhere else. Love it or hate it, it's certainly too interesting not to take a look.
P.S.
The street names are also entertaining, ranging from the blatantly consumerist (Tropicana Dr.) to the (ir?)reverently ludicrous (Elvis Alive Dr.). Liz and I were couchsurfing while we were there and we noticed that the streets in our neighborhood seemed to have a theme. See if you can guess....
Yes, indeed! Whoever named the streets around there was definitely a fan of Indiana Jones.
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